Hello and happy belated 4th of July! I hope you all had a fun safe time. We got home from Rhode Island and as soon as we unpacked, we turned right around and opened our home to friends to celebrate the 4th of July. There was good food, laughter, kids running around and fireworks. It was the best kind of simple summer gathering that leaves your heart (and belly) full!
As much as I love filling my house with people and traveling to spend time with family, It feels so nice to be returning back to our “normal” busyness. The laundry that piles up, the question I despise “What’s for dinner?”, the to-do list that keeps growing, I find myself caught in the familiar tug between gratitude and exhaustion. It is my nature to want to wish away the struggle and replace it with just the good parts, the laughter, the joy, the success. I am sure many people can relate to that. I recall a passage from a devotional I did many years ago and this particular part stuck out to me.
“if all my days were sunny, could I say in His fair land He wipes all tears away?
Henry Jackson Van Dyke
If I were never weary, could I keep this blessed truth: He gives His loved ones sleep?
…My winter, and my tears, and weariness- even my grave- may be His way to bless.
I call them ill, yet that can surely be nothing but love that shows my Lord to me.”
It’s not easy to swallow, is it? There’s a part of me that understands the desire to dismiss this entirely. I know many do. They see suffering and wonder how a good God could allow it. They imagine Him as a puppet master pulling strings and feel insulted at the thought of being puppets. I know I have wrestled with that too, but I don’t believe God orchestrates every sickness, every hurdle, every heartbreak. We live in a broken world and hard things happen here. But I do believe this: He never wastes them. Sometimes we treat God like a genie, wishing He would remove the pain, the struggle, the mountain in our way. The truth is, God may remove the obstacle, but He may not. And if he doesn’t it doesn’t mean He has abandoned us. In fact, He often gives us something greater: Himself.
In a world where struggle is inevitable, what a gift it is to receive peace, strength and hope. If God removed all my trials, I would grow weak. If all my days were easy, I would forget how deeply I need Him. If I never felt weary, I may never crawl into His arms. This truth has become more real to me in motherhood. Years ago, I prayed for THIS life, the children, the family, the home. But the reality of getting to (and being in) the life I prayed for includes aspects I didn’t expect. Being a mother was rough for many years. Yes, I had joy and deeply loved my children, but I always felt I was failing and lacked the skills to do the job well. First being a stepparent, then parenting a child struggling with sleep issues and separation anxiety and follow it up with the boundless energy of a child with ADHD. It was one challenge after the next and I felt ill equipped for all of it. I was consistently feeling like I was running on empty. Truthfully there are still aspects of this life, the one I prayed for, that feel heavy at times.
Those hard years were exhausting. But looking back, I can see what those years did in me. If I hadn’t struggled, I may have never gotten desperate enough to seek Him, to ask Him to show me a new way. I may never have grown so hungry for God’s help and wisdom. I might never have discovered the beauty and peace He was waiting to give me in the middle of the chaos. Learning has been challenging and stretching. It required me to humble myself, and to realize I was right from the beginning. That I didn’t have the skills to handle motherhood on my own, but He was waiting to supply all my needs.
Recently God convicted me. He spoke to my heart saying this is the life you prayed for and if your honest it’s more than you dreamed possible. Do not diminish the magnitude of this blessing because of the hard road it took to get here or the challenges that come with keeping it. This is the life I prayed for, and it was the struggles that came with it, the ones I wanted so badly to wish away, that became the very soil where His strength, wisdom and peace took root. They are they very tools God used to strengthen me, equip me and prepare me to hold the blessing. I am grateful for the hard things now; I thank God for the years of struggle. They taught me to lean on Him, and in doing so I have realized a new deeper level of joy, peace, and faith. I have a newfound boldness in my spirit. I am less fearful of the struggles that will inevitably come in the future because I know that I don’t need the perfect, ideal version of the life I dreamed of. I need, and have, a perfect Savior walking beside me in the real and authentic one.
So, if you are in the middle of the life you once prayed for, but it feels heavier than you imagined, hold on. The obstacles may not disappear overnight but know this, God in near. He is closer than ever, and maybe the hardest parts are hiding the sweetest blessings, more of Him, more of you becoming who He is shaping you to be.
Questions to reflect on:
* What if we stopped seeing our struggles as proof that something is wrong and started seeing them as invitations to see Him more clearly?
* Where has hardship shaped you for the better?
* How has God shown Himself faithful in the middle of what you once prayed away?
* What struggle today might be hiding a blessing for tomorrow?
Father,
Thank you for the life I prayed for, even the parts I wouldn’t have chosen. Thank you for the busy days and the messy moments and the sleepless nights. Thank you for being with me in it all.
Teach me to see my struggles not as proof You’ve left me, but an invitation to know You deeper. When life feels heavy be my strength. When I am weary, be my rest. When I am discouraged, be my hope.
Grow in me a heart that trusts You in every season. Help me not to wish away that which You are using to shape me. May every trial bear fruit that draws me closer to You and speaks to Your glory.
And, I pray for the women reading this too, that they would feel Your nearness today. Whatever they are carrying, remind them that they are not alone. Give them courage to see the hidden blessings in what feels too heavy to hold. Fill them with peace, strengthen them with hope, and surround them with Your perfect love.
May we both remember that the greatest gift is not a life free from struggle, but a life walked hand in hand with You.
Amen.